I have rather neglected writing since my last post after the Kilomathon at the start of April. I had a fantastic build up to that particular race. Especially when I realised I was only running half the distance I’d trained for! I was running often, long and fast (for me). However, the aftermath of that race has been quite the opposite and my April has been quite frankly, crap (Not all of it, just the running part).
I’m injured, again. I saw a physio on Monday and he confirmed I have tendinopathy in my left foot and up my shin. It’s nothing major and will hopefully ease off with some corrections in my form, but I need to take it easy. After two or three short runs focusing on my form, I can confirm I am knackered this week! It’s tiring concentrating so much whilst running!
You’re probably sick of hearing it and I’m sick of writing about my injuries. There’s also a tiny part of me that’s terrified I am injured all the time due to neglecting to fuel my body properly for the best part of 10 years. I’m scared I’ve damaged my bones and they are unable to cope with what I constantly demand of them. Is this just injured runners paranoia? I don’t know.
I love running and when I’m injured and can’t do the thing I love, I get frustrated. I get angry. I get upset. I become impossible to deal with and then I take it out on those I’m closest to and care about most. I sound like a horrible person, right? But I’m not, I promise! It’s for another reason entirely. I’m battling the demons inside my head that sneak in and try to take control of my mind again. When I run, I eat a lot and I’m ok with it. But when I’m not running (or not running as much), the fear and doubt over how much I should be eating if I’m not burning anything comes creeping in. I then doubt my own mental strength and if I have in fact really recovered at all.
Allowing this doubt in is doing myself a huge disservice. When I’m thinking rationally, I know that I am strong, I’ve achieved some great things and I have managed to take back control of my life and live healthily. I need to believe in this and remind myself of this fact when I start to get agitated during injury. I don’t want to ruin all the fantastic progress I’ve made over the last 3 years, both mentally and physically. If I want to smash my goals in running, I need to fuel my body and that’s what I have been doing and will continue to do.
How am I going to cope with this injury period and prevent any disordered eating?
- Cross Training – Keeping up exercise will put my mind at rest and allow me to comfortably continue eating as normal. I won’t feel like I have to restrict my calories.
- Being open and honest – Telling Brandon when things aren’t so good is something I’ve not been very good at but when I do open up, I catch myself falling into bad habits before it goes too far and then he is able to support me.
- Rationalise – I’m not going to put back on all the weight I lost. It’s never going to be the case because I won’t allow it – I don’t want to be than unhealthy, unhappy person ever again. I haven’t in 3 years, so it’s not going to happen in one (hopefully very short) injury period.
- Celebrate my body – Instead of hating on my body image, I’m trying to look at my body as a machine and what it can do. I’m grateful for its strength and the miles it has carried me!
This post has been a bit of a pep talk to myself, but if any of you out there are reading and have perhaps had similar experiences with eating patterns or injury… I hope this helps.
I have a 10k race in 9 days time so I’m being sensible with my training and doing what I can to allow my body to heal in time for that!